So, you’ve woken up this morning and found a few grey hairs. Your kids are being little brats and you feel a serious sense of detachment from the youth of today as you have no idea what ‘lit’ ‘gassed’ or ‘woke’ means.
You’ve started watching Planet Earth instead of Love Island and look forward to a full night’s sleep on a Friday.
Are you too old for Ibiza? Of course you’re not.
Ibiza welcomes all people of all ages, and we are yet to find one person who regrets their time spent out here. However, there are certain things you can adapt once you hit the twilight raving years to improve your time on the Island.
Remember that first trip to Ibiza when you were 18? No, nobody ever does. You got too pissed at the airport, took three hours to find your apartment and spunked all of your spending money on the first night.
You’re an adult now – so why not take the time to scout a nice hotel, close to the clubs you want to go to, saving you time and money. It’s all so simple as a grown up, isn’t it?
Quality over quantity
The assumption is if you are in Ibiza, you need to be out of your nut 24/7 or you are doing it wrong. Whilst this might work for many, we always advise quality over quantity.
Maybe avoid getting on the shots at 9am and save yourself for the main event that night. When you’re bopping along to your favourite DJ at 4am feeling like the king of the world – you will thank yourself for avoiding becoming a mess before midday.
It might seem odd to recommend something which goes against the essence of the island, but we’ve all been laying there, brain going 1000mph, body flapping around in bed like a fish out of water, desperate to switch off.
Speaking from personal experience, sleeping tablets are a Godsend.
At 22, you could stay up for five days straight, going from one afters to the next. In your 30s this simply doesn’t happen no matter how much you want it to – and late nights take their toll.
Having a pack of Nytol sleeping tablets back at the hotel is a must if you want to fully recover for the next event and prevent yourself looking like an exhausted 80-year-old.
Respect your youngers
Your mature, you’ve been to Ibiza countless times – you know everything there is to know about the place, right? Wrong.
Ibiza is overrun with people in their early twenties working and living on the island. They are unavoidable – but this isn’t a bad thing; far from it – it’s an EXCELLENT thing because nobody knows more about what’s happening than the current workforce.
Have a chat with a PR, ticket seller or street worker – ask questions – as they’ll no doubt be enthusiastic about life and be able to tell you a few tricks of the Island.
If they are spending six months in the area, they’ll definitely know the right places to go, people to see and what’s on the agenda. You might even blag details of a free party or some discount on tickets.
One for the lads
Many people go on holiday to find a bit of romance, and true love can be found in all sorts of places – but sometimes no means no. Furthermore, sometimes no actually means f*ck off.
If you’re in your 30s, chances are, that ridiculously fit 19-year-old girl isn’t really going to go home with you, no matter how much you beg.
Of course, it is worth a try (hats off to the man who pulls a young stunner) – but don’t ruin a young lady’s holiday by becoming a sex pest. Nobody wants to see it. If she says no thanks, just move along.
Put it this way – if a woman 15-20 years older than you was relentlessly laying it on, you’d run a mile.